幽默英文两则

maizai

About the future 关于将来

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 A lonely frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and asked what his future holds. His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him: "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you." The frog is thrilled, "This is great! "Will I meet her at a party?" he croaks. "No," says the psychic, "in biology class." 　一只孤独的青蛙致电心理热线，询问他的将来会怎么样。 　　他的私人心理医生告诉他：“你将会遇到一个很漂亮的女孩，她热衷于了解你的一切。” 　　青蛙兴奋得用发抖的声音说：“这真是太棒了！那么我是不是会在一个晚会上碰到她呢？” 　　“不，”心理医生说：“是在生物课上。” －－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－

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My Boss and I 老板和我]

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 When I take a long time, I am slow. When my boss takes a long time, he is thorough. When I don't do it, I am lazy. When my boss doesn't do it, he is too busy. When I do something without being told, I am trying to be smart. When my boss does the same, that is initiative. When I please my boss, I am ass-kissing. When my boss pleases his boss, he is co-operating. I do good, my boss never remembers. When I do wrong, he never forgets. 我做事情花了长时间，是效率低；老板做事情花了长时间，是深思熟虑。我没有做完事情，是懒惰；老板没有做完事情，是太繁忙。没有人告诉我的事情我做了，是自作聪明；老板做了同样的事情，是首创。我取悦老板，是献媚；老板取悦他的老板，是合作。我干得好，老板从来不会想起；我干得不好，老板从来不会忘记。

( Z" _" s' p$ X( s% m$ B * M7 G& N" o( X[ 本帖最后由 maizai 于 2007-3-9 08:33 编辑 ]